Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
i will never coherently bang her
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
