Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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