Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize
