is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
