May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Randomize
