you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
