the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
