sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
