I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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