She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Houston, we have a squirter
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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