apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
this hospital has no fireball
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
