i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
