I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
im six kinds of drunk right now
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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