i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Randomize
