it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
