I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize