this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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