she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
