Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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