This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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