I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
