so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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