Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
