I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
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