weddingsv make me drug and hornr
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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