What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
