so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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