think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
