and you said cock pushups were impossible
I looked at my own cervix.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize