Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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