i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
i think i just naturally attract stoners
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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