i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
