She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
