I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Cover your peen. We're going out.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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