he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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