Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
