at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Randomize
