well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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