I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Randomize
