Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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