I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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