Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Randomize
