i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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