So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
When are your genitals available?
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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