I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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