Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
40s are totally the cure
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
