"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Randomize
