So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
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