YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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