were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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