Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
