Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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