READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
