She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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