My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
