I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
