I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
