Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
This girl is more easily done than said...
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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