she was so not down for the gang bang
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
