and you said cock pushups were impossible
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Come share oat with me in your robe
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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