god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Randomize
