just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
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