Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
