Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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